Final Reflection

1.  I have written several different pieces and for the first part of this class it seemed as if we we're talking about our feelings but then it grew and I learned how to express myself more.  Also I learned that I do have a thing for writing, I like writing and if I could go further I would.

2. I have red a book recently called "Bound to You", by Marie Coulson.  Its more of an adult novel, its set for College Students i feel, and it just blew me away.  I absolutely hate the "Love Triangle Story", and I didnt know it would  be that way but I absolutely loved this book.  Kat has always amazed me at how deep she just is when she writes.  Shes always in depth and it just blows me away.

3.  I came up with the name for my blog because life is a journing to figure out who you are, and I have yet to set foot on that journey, Im so indecisive my moods change from left to right when the wind blows.  I dont konw what I want in life, who I am and im just a very complex person.  My dads says im a very difficult person, like a puzzle or a rubix cube, and I just laugh at him because I know hes right.

4.  If I continue to journal, I will journal about my daily life, my feelings, stuff I know that Id love to get out and get out of my head or my heart.  I like journaling because I feel like its a form of therapy, one that doesnt include a psychairst.  Its like tricking you into talking about what you feel.  And once its out its gone and you can go back to it and wonder why you were so angry or sad over the little things.

5. My favorite entry thats notable to me is my Creative Piece because it, in my opinion, is a dream that I once had.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.  I knew it was time to leave this life.  But i wasn't ready, not yet. I had one more thing to do, he had to know.  Someway I had to find him and tell him.  Somehow, id tell him even though i was nothing more than a think shimmer in the air.  But how would I find him in this endless black pit of nothing.  Tears touched my face.  For I only felt sadness that I would never see him again.  He was the moon in my sky.  The necklace hanging from my neck a reminder of the sweet memories.  A dark cloud hung over me, reminding me of the last words I said to him.  Those awful words we screamed at each other.  It wasn't fair, it was so stupid, I cant even remember the words that we said.  The memory blurred as his beautiful face came into view right next to me.  His hair ruffled from the countless times he ran his fingers through it out of frustration.  His chiseled face with a stubble of hair just the way I loved.  His nose which was cocked a little to the left from his adolescent years and finally his eyes.  Eyes I could get lost in for days.  Stormy gray pools sucking you in with green flecks at the end, making my heart stop every time he gazed at me.  However this time was different, a light lit up his beautiful face, masked in horror as a loud honk screamed from the right of me getting louder and louder. It looked as if saying goodbye but no words were coming out. Just his mouth moving.



Then everything came back in a rush, the screech of tires then darkness.

My head was pounding, I was upside down.  My eye lids felt like 2 ton boulders were weighing me down.  What was that god awful ringing in my ears? 

Then someone was carrying me, they were asking me my name, if i was hurt, if i knew what today was, but speaking was to hard so I just closed my eyes. When they set me down on a hard board, my eyes flew open as did my mouth and the ear bleeding scream of pain.  Finally when I was sedated I whispered where he was.  The look on there faces said it all and I let sleep consume my being.

I felt like I was being pulled by an unknown force.  There was no fighting it but i tried with everything I had when fighting became to hard I gave in as it took me forward.  Where was it taking me?  I knew this road led to somewhere familiar but I was having a hard time remembering, until finally the hospital came into view. 

The pull became stronger like when all of a sudden I was staring down at my broken, and bruised body with a oxygen mask on my face.  Needles in my hands and arms and..HE WAS HERE! HE'S WITH ME! HOLDING MY HAND! But how was I watching this?  My hand started tingling slowly working through my body.

It started getting dark again, I needed to do this now. I reached for him as I was getting ready to finally tell him.  I felt pressure on my hand, the same one hes holding as he said "...you must go on, I cant go on, I love you, I'm so sorry." 

And that's when darkness consumed me...

There was a bright light, as I opened my eyes.  Slowly my eyes adjusted I was laying down...laying down on something soft yet stiff.  Something was covering my mouth, as I reached to remove it, there was a resistance, I looked to where my hand was.  Somebody was holding onto it.  Slowly, so slowly i was sure Id die, The person holding my hand lifted their chestnut haired head, until finally I met the eyes that claimed my body, heart, and soul.

 

6. My favorite passage out of one of my pieces of writings would be "  Finding a friend who's loyal and trustworthy are hard to find but id rather have just one friend who is exactly that.  Than a hundred fake friends who make me miserable."  Its my favorite because I feel like it really describes me a little and who I am as a person.

 

7. When I write i feel a certain release from my heart like Im chipping away at my self. Breaking down barriers and getting to know who I am.

 

8.  I got to understand so many people more in depth and go to know people.  People who are different and look different and we have alot in common and theyve also opened my eyes up to seeing things in diffferent perspectives.

Keeping It Real

2. What are three tips you would give parents of teenagers?

The three tips I would give parents about teenagers would be that; One,were not always plotting something dangerous. Sometimes we seriously just want to give you a nice cold water while your mowing the lawn because I can only imagine how hot it is to have to do that during the summer. Two, just because we have friends that do certain stuff, doenst me were interested into doing that stuff.  Three, dont judge us for who we are when we finally let you see who we are in the inside, were judged cruelly and harshly at school, eveyday or whether we are excepted or not and we dont need to feel like that at home, love us regardless, and just listen because were so confused and its hard to ask question when you make us feel dumb.

7.  Can you know in three days if you love somone?

My personal opinion would be know, but thats just me.  Ive never been inlove and being inlove at this age is silly.  Were so yount and theres so much world to see and weve only seen so little.  You dont know who your gonna be 10 years from now.  You might change and you might not.  But Ive changed just in this one year, I doubt Ill be the same person 10 years from now.

9.  What makes someone a "hottie" to you?

A hottie to me would be someone who I just click with.  Someone who can raise butterflys in my stomach and goosebumps on my arms.  A guy who just can make me laugh all the time. But not a push over, arguing is healthy.  I want someone taller than me which isnt that hard considering im 5'3 and 3/4.  With dark hair, and eyes I can just get lost into.  Someone I can talk with for hours and someone I can just sit down with and watch a movie in complete silence.  I want a bestfriend and a love.

21.  Does your family do huge gatherings with intersting sleeping arrangements and lots of activities like Dan's?

My family in South Carolina, they are always having Sunday Dinners and BBQ's out of knowhere and its such as blast to be apart of that, they are so close and I love being around them.  My family here is amazing as well but I dont have anyone my age or close except my brothers and cousins but they've all kind of "grown up" so its just not the same as in South Carolina where everyone is younger than me or the same age.

22.  Are teenagers pretty hard on their parents?

I think teenagers are hard on their parents because; One, we try to test the boundries as much as possible. Two because we're becoming older and we're become young adults, and being told what to do is just becoming more and more annoying.

Ice Covered Plants

The ice covered plants make me feel winter coming.

Cold.

Detached.

Bitter.

But Beautiful.

Man breaking apart the Graffiti Covered Berlin Wall

This makes me feel bad, kind of like a dangerous rebel, causing mischief.

Movie Time

• Tell us about your favorite movie and why you like it.

I dont have a favorite movies, I just have movies that are my favorites, they very from all kinds.  Movies that can get my heart pumping or make me sympathize with the characters or just pull me in, are the ones I truly enjoy and will watch over and over again.

• Tell us about the kinds of movies you don't care for usually.

I dont usually care for movies that dont make me care. No offense to the movies but the movie Extremely Loud and Icredibly Close is just to close for comfort and I dont like the movies that talk about tragedies such as that movie. 

• Tell us about how often and where you usually watch movies.

I love watching movies at home in the living room, or just at a movie theater. 

• Tell us about what you need for movie viewing (environment, food, company, etc.)

To watch a movie all I need is a comfy seat where I can put my legs under me and an arm rest to lean against.

• Tell us about what the survey says about you.

YOU ARE 83% EXTRAVERTED.

You are extraverted, outgoing, active and high-spirited. You prefer to be around people most of the time.

YOU ARE 67% AGREEABLE. You are generally warm, trusting, and agreeable, but you can sometimes be stubborn and competitive.

YOU ARE 50% CONSCIENTIOUS. You are dependable and moderately well-organised. You generally have clear goals and are able to set goals aside.

YOU ARE 58% EMOTIONALLY STABLE. You are generally calm and able to deal with stress, but you sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness.

YOU ARE 83% OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES. You are practical but willing to consider new ways of doing things. You try to seek a balance between the old and the new.

• If my life story was made into a movie...

If my life story was made into a movie, I wouldnt want to watch it.  Because I dont want to relive certains things and somethings are just better left burried.

This Is

This is the puppy ive always wanted,

So adorable and cute,

Always loving and caring,

Under your feet

Nibling on your toes.

Never leaving your side

and whining when your gone.

Window Poem

I see Kiki and Jordan
Jacee, and DJ
Grandma and Papa,
Aunt Terri and Uncle Bay.

I see friends and family
food and drinks,
dogs stealing scraps,
those little minx.

I see love and laughter,
fun and joy
So many people happy to see each other
If they only knew there was more.

Theres a camera that watches the front of the house,
So Ill have to sneak around,
Dodging from being seen,
Geez I feel like a mouse.

As I crawl threw the window,
I see a picture on the wall,
I remember taking that picture,
We were at the mall.

I hear Grandma call for dinner,
And then I hear papa began to pray,
It swells my heart to know,
They still do this every Sunday.

As I come walk into the dining room,
All of their heads are bowed,
Your never suppose to interrupt,
So I dont make a sound.

When Papas done praying,
Everyone opens there eyes,
Thats when they notice,
A well planned surprise.

I ingulfed in hugs repeatedly,
I feel so much love,
This family Ive only known for a year,
Theyve become my home.

Inspirtaional Image #10

I hear a rapping on my window, it wakes me out of my sleep. Scared out of my mind I slowly back away to my door until I hear my name. The voice its me, and as I open the window I see the most beautiful face smiling up at me beckoning me down. I dont question it I just know that id follow him to the end of the earth.  As I climb out and he helps me down, he pulls me against him as I slide against his body.  Holding me so close that I feel the heat of his breath brush against my face he looks at my lips and it seems as hes going to kiss me, but he doesnt.  Instead he steps back and takes my hand and pulls me behind him to his truck.  He doenst say anything as he opens the door for me and helps me in and shuts the door, he walks around and gets in his seat and just looks at me.  I can only stare into the pools of his eyes. Desire and Love etched into them. It swells my heart and makes me stomach jump and when he smiles, I see stars. He suddenly looks away and starts the car and starts driving.  I see familiar roads until he makes a turn onto a dirt road.  I look at him as my hand reaches for the handles.  As were being thrown around because of the uneven ground, hes smiling like the kid on christmas, as I start to laugh.  When the road smoothens out he starts going up this hill, that seems to go on forever, until finally it ends at a cliff and he stops the car.

He gets out and comes around to open the door and pulls me to the front of the car stands behind me, wraps his arms around my middle, points to the horizon and tells me to watch. I try to do as he says, but its hard to focus with him so close to me, his breath tickling my ear, his body against mine, his arms wrapped around me and as I turn my head hes staring down at me with so much love and warmth in those beautiful eyes, I say the first thing I can think of but before I can speak he puts a finger to his mouth and tells me to just watch.

So I turn my head back toward the horizon and watch. I dont know how much time goes by before the tiniest hint of blue starts to come, then orange/red, then hues of pink, when finally the sun starts to rise and everything comes into view.

He kisses the top of my head and I can feel the smile in his lips. "This," he says "this is how I want to spend forever."

blue

Rich, deep blues

staring out at the calm blue sea,

floating across a brilliant hue

lying on your back and watching clouds,

offering a cool antidote to our over-stimulated lives and anxious days,

this color symbolizes the faithfuleness trustworthiness, confidence, intelligence and unity in a different way,

the uplifting spirit of a sunny sky,

or soothing ocean.

offering serenity.

the clarity it brings to our dreams, thoughts, and imagination.

The color of peace,

and youth,

The central symbol of Inspiration.

and an overall feeling of peacefulness,

and truth.



I have found what you are like...

I have found what you are like,

 

my first thought in the morning and the last at night,

the only voice I want to hear,

the only eyes I can get lost into,

the only arms I want to be wrapped up in,

the only person I can hate and love at the same time,

the only one that'll ever hold my heart.

Like the sun as it rises in the morning welcoming a new day with a warm heart and open arms, or as it sets in the evening promising a bitter sweet return with its rays.

Like the rain as it falls to nourish the earth and heal what was once broken.

Like the lightning striking the earth as if striking my heart repeatedly.

Like the electicity the raises goosebumps on my body when I feel your near.




You are and forever will be my other half. The reason I breathe. The reason I wake up in the morning. My purpose

Euology

Salonica Williams

Daughter of Greg Williams and Charlene Wallace.

Salonica was a sister and bestfriend to Gregory, Tremanye, Aliyah, and Treyton Williams.

Goofy, and Kind hearted Salonica was always considerate and understanding of others.

Even when she was "ignant" as her father would say and "flustrating" she had a big heart and loved to do things for other people.

Greg "She would always dance around the kitchen when doing the kitchen, singing off key. Shes my first baby girl, and nobody gives you a guide on how to raise a girl. Boys are much easier, I was one so I know what to expect and what how to deal with them. Boys dont are as emotional and have monthly week long attitudes. She could be happy and cheery one minute and then get all mad because someone ate her last honey bun. However girls, are your hearts and she was mine, even though she'd love to irritate me more than her mom, she would do simple stuff that warmed my heart. Like bring me and ice cold water while im mowing the lawn just because she wanted to. She was always the first to suggest we watch "The Matrix", or "The Jarassic Park" series she was movie freak.

Charlene "Even as a teenager she still loves to cuddle with me and watch a lifetime movie. She was my little girl know matter how old she got. She was spoiled rotten and appreciated everything she ever got. She infruiated me beyond belief but I guess that's because she was like my little twin.  Always irritating her dad, or brothers, she was attached to my hip for awhile before she got older and became a daddys girl, but I know she loves me more. My daughter was my angel."

Gregory "She would always tell on us when we were little and find things to irritate her and more than once Ive tried to kill her myself but shes one of my bestfriends and we always tell each other things and there just a special closeness that we all share that'll never change. She's terrified of needles but she loves to give blood.  One time when we were little we were all getting shots at the doctors and she was screaming bloody murder and just wouldnt stop she kept saying help me Gregory but I knew she had to have them so I had to leave the room because I was crying, and wouldnt help hold her down."

Tremanye "Shawaqanza, I cant stand that girl, she always drinks all the milk and eats all my roman noodles.  But she did clean my house for me. Im glad I didnt kill her when we were little. We used to fight like we were in WWE Raw. She was always trying to horse play with us. And we refuse until shed start throwing punches so we would pull her legs behind her head and hold her there. Of course she'd cry and we'd get in trouble. Nawh shes my bestfriend, were really close, when ever we make fun of other people we always air five and make the swish sound.  Its so funny.  We kind of speak in code I guess.  She's always laughing or trying to make me laugh with her retardedness. She's really emotional and I hate when she cries because she gets really read and crying makes her angry so shes like a double wammy. But its what makes her my little sister and I love her and her weirdness."

Scraps

IMAGINE

SOMEDAY

FLAWLESS MANY FACES HAS

WOUNDS.

YOUR INDIVIDUALITY IS FUN!

BE BAD!!

I like my pizza like I like my men:

hot,

no-nonsense, and

covered in melted mozzarella and

fresh mushrooms!!

Poems

OBLONG

Nice, Quiet, Down to Earth and Mysterious

Son of Scott Deal

Loves Tanning, puppies and shopping

Feels asian tired and uninspired

Needs a pychriatrist, friends

Gives warmth, love CO2

Fears Death

Would like to see me in bed

Favorite place to be in is there room

ZINNE.

SALONICA

Nice, Loud, Talkative, Down to earth

Daughter of Greg Williams

Lover of Japanese Food, Shopping, My bestfriend Rachel

Feels tired, sore, energetic

Needs money, head phones, and honey buns

Gives laughter, friendship and honesty

Fears spiders, snakes, and zombies

Wants to see Maroon 5, Imagine Dragons, and Maroon 5

Lives on Highpoint Street in Springfield MO

WILLIAMS.

Music; 4 Songs

The Three Libras by Perfect Circle felt;

slow and soft, warm, and calming, sad, deep, like falling for someone, and the insecurity of if youd be caught or not. I liked this song it was different.

You Shook Me by ACDC felt;

Exciting, Makes me want to break out in song and dance, scream and shout, go party, driving with the windows down, summer, party untouchable, fun go camping, go crazy, its actually something I listen to on my iphone.

Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clafton;

Slow sensual, soft, sad, slow dance with someone.  I dont really like this song its just to slow for me.

Gold Digger by Kanye West;

Made me want to laugh because I have so many memorys with this song with my brothers and dad. Go clubbing, get money, drive with the the music blasting.

Teachers Like Music?

1. What music or songs reminds you of your childhood?

Mrs Thater;
The Carpenters, Dusty Springfield, Neil Diamond, Andy Williams

Senora Dinamarca;
Madonna, Debbie Gibson, New Kids on the Block

This amazes me because for one I have no idea who the people on Mrs. Thaters list are.  However I love the New Kids on the Block and I know who Madonna is.

3. What music reminds you of somone you love? Your child? Spouse? Parents?

Senora Dinamarca said;
 " The Cure" reminds me of my husband and when we first met.  Jenn Lennon's "Beautiful Boy' reminds me of my children."

To me, Blackstreet's "The Lord is Real", reminds me of my brothers and my mom because we would always listen to that song whenever we were in the car, going somewhere, and sometimes shed make us sing or we wouldnt be able to get out of the car.

4. Do you go to concerts?  Which concerts are memorable to you? Why?

Mrs. Hall said;
"Yes, some.  Daughtry & Eagles etc."

Senora Dinamarca said;
"Concerts, Dave Matthews, Pink Floyd, Eric Clapton, Shakira"

Music and Writing

2.  My favorite song at the moment would be Its Time by Imagine Dragons.  Its my favorite song because of its lyrics.  I first heard it on the radio driving home from work and instantly fell inlove with it.  On days when Im feeling down like Im worth a half penny.  I listen to this song and it always brightens my day.

3.  My music has definetly changed over the years.  All I really used to listen to was what was on the radio or what my parents had in the car at the time.  But when I got an ipod, I started buying music and loving the Alternative Genre.  Most of my music is Alternative,  I dont really know what draws me to it, sometimes I think its a faze like ill eventaully grow out of it.  But I dont want to grow out of this music.  This music feels like me.  The verse;

"its time to begin

isnt it i get a little bit bigger

and then ill admit im just the same as i was

now dont you understand

im never changing who i am"

At first made me cry,  because i feel society is so stuck on apperances and whats cool, whatll get you friends, what makes you popular.  And we get away from what makes us different, what makes us individuals, what makes me, ME.  And I dont want to lose sight of that.  Because you shouldnt change who you are, but change who you hang around with because nothings wrong with being yourself.

4.  I gravitate towards music that makes me feel happy, and music I know I can sing when nobodys looking. I dislike music that use profanity alot like some is okay but sometimes ive just had enough.

6.  Without music, the world would be a hollow place filled with silence. 

13.  Music is a form of poetry. A lyric thats been stuck in my head for a long time is by the rapper Lil Wayne..

"Never apologize for saying how you feel, its like apologizing for being real."



Creative Piece

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.  I knew it was time to leave this life.  But i wasn't ready, not yet. I had one more thing to do, he had to know.  Someway I had to find him and tell him.  Somehow, id tell him even though i was nothing more than a think shimmer in the air.  But how would I find him in this endless black pit of nothing.  Tears touched my face.  For I only felt sadness that I would never see him again.  He was the moon in my sky.  The necklace hanging from my neck a reminder of the sweet memories.  A dark cloud hung over me, reminding me of the last words I said to him.  Those awful words we screamed at each other.  It wasn't fair, it was so stupid, I cant even remember the words that we said.  The memory blurred as his beautiful face came into view right next to me.  His hair ruffled from the countless times he ran his fingers through it out of frustration.  His chiseled face with a stubble of hair just the way I loved.  His nose which was cocked a little to the left from his adolescent years and finally his eyes.  Eyes I could get lost in for days.  Stormy gray pools sucking you in with green flecks at the end, making my heart stop every time he gazed at me.  However this time was different, a light lit up his beautiful face, masked in horror as a loud honk screamed from the right of me getting louder and louder. It looked as if saying goodbye but no words were coming out. Just his mouth moving.



Then everything came back in a rush, the screech of tires then darkness.

My head was pounding, I was upside down.  My eye lids felt like 2 ton boulders were weighing me down.  What was that god awful ringing in my ears? 

Then someone was carrying me, they were asking me my name, if i was hurt, if i knew what today was, but speaking was to hard so I just closed my eyes. When they set me down on a hard board, my eyes flew open as did my mouth and the ear bleeding scream of pain.  Finally when I was sedated I whispered where he was.  The look on there faces said it all and I let sleep consume my being.

I felt like I was being pulled by an unknown force.  There was no fighting it but i tried with everything I had when fighting became to hard I gave in as it took me forward.  Where was it taking me?  I knew this road led to somewhere familiar but I was having a hard time remembering, until finally the hospital came into view. 

The pull became stronger like when all of a sudden I was staring down at my broken, and bruised body with a oxygen mask on my face.  Needles in my hands and arms and..HE WAS HERE! HE'S WITH ME! HOLDING MY HAND! But how was I watching this?  My hand started tingling slowly working through my body.

It started getting dark again, I needed to do this now. I reached for him as I was getting ready to finally tell him.  I felt pressure on my hand, the same one hes holding as he said "...you must go on, I cant go on, I love you, I'm so sorry." 

And that's when darkness consumed me...

There was a bright light, as I opened my eyes.  Slowly my eyes adjusted I was laying down...laying down on something soft yet stiff.  Something was covering my mouth, as I reached to remove it, there was a resistance, I looked to where my hand was.  Somebody was holding onto it.  Slowly, so slowly i was sure Id die, The person holding my hand lifted their chestnut haired head, until finally I met the eyes that claimed my body, heart, and soul.

Famous Lines from Famous Books

"It was a cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

This line is from the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, which was published in the year 1949 by the Author George Orwell who lived from  June 25, 1903 to January 21, 1950. This author is also known for other works, including Animal Farm and many others.



Nineteen Eighty-Four is a novel by George Orwell published in 1949.  It is a dystopian and satirical novel set in Oceania, where society is tyrannized by the Party and its totalitarian ideology.  The Oceanian province of Airstrip One is a world of perpetual war, ominpresent government surveillance, and public mind control of a privilegded Inner Part elite that persecutes all indivilualism and independent thinking as thought crimes.  Their tyranny is headed by Big Brother, the quasi-divine Party leader who enjoys an intense cult of personality, but who may not even exist.  Big brother and the Party justify their rule in the name of a supposed greater good.  The protagonist of the novel, Winston Smith, is a member of the Outer Party who works for the Ministry of Truth, which is responsible for propaganda and historical revisionism.  His job is to rewrite past newspapers acticles so that the historical record always supports the current party line.  Smith is a diligent and skillful worker, but he secretl hates the Party and dreams of rebellion against Big Brother.

One of the reviews says

From Winston Smith's point of view, many things that scare us are normal.  For example, the omnipresence of the "Big Brother", always watching you, and the "Thought Police", that punishes treacherous thoughts against the Party.  The reader feels the inevitability of doom that pervades the book many times, in phrases like "Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever.  You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you.

Orwell made in this book many observations that are no more merely fiction, but already things that manage to reduce our freedom.  This is a book that only gets better with the passing of time, as you read in it more and more implications.  One of Orwells main reasons for writting this "negative utopia" might have been to warn his readers against communism, but many years after his death and the fall of communism, we can also interpret it as a caution against the excessive power of mass media, or the immoderate power of any government.

"...you must go on, I cant go on, Ill go on."

This line is from the novel The Unnamable, which was published in the year 1953 Samuel Beckett who lived from April 13, 1906 to December 22, 1989.  This author is also for other works including Dream of fair to Midding Women and Mercier and Camier.

The Unnamable is a 1953 novel by Samuel Beckett.  Is it the third and final entry in Beckettes "Trilogy" of novels, which begins with Molloy followed by Malone Dies.  It was originally publishd in French as L'Innommable and later adaped by the author into English.  Grove Press published the English edition on 1958.

The Unnamable consists entirely of a disjointed monologue from the persepective of an unnamed (presumably unnamable) and immobile protagonist. There is no concrete plot or setting - and whether the other characters actually exist or whether they are facets of the narrator himself is debatable.  The protagonist also claims authorship of the main characters in the two previous novels of the Trilogy and Becketts earlier novels Murphy, Mercier and Camier, and Watt.  The novel is a mix of recollections and existential musing of the part of its narrator, many of which pertian specifically to the possibility that the narrator constructed by the language he speaks.   Other characters serve as the passive recipient of the dialogue and in many places the dialogue genesis.  The novel builds in its despairing tone until the ending, which consists mainly of very long run-on sentences.  It closes with the phrase "You must go on, I cant go on, Ill go on," which was later used as the title of an anthology of Beckett works.

One of the critic reviews says;

After the second read it isn't so crazy, really! It's a poem, more than prose, a prayer even, and is best (as the wife tells me), read that way, in small doses, in order to get the beauty of the language.

To me it could be one of the lost books of the Bible, something the Pharasies and/or the popes thought too crazy to include, maybe the Lost Book of Job or Jeremiah, maybe Cain. The character, the Unnamable, armless and legless voice that cries out throughout the one hundred odd pages could easily be the voice of all humanity, all the suffering, oppressed who never do have a voice, who's existence is nothing more than a cry in the dark, the ones who History crushes beneath its black boots. If in Ulysses Joyce wrote about all the thoughts that fill the mind during an entire day, Beckett writes all the desperate, deathbed thoughts that wrack the brain in an instant.

Passage

I don't really have a passage out of a book that's my favorite.  But I do however have a lyric out of a song that's my absolute favorite and inspirational.  The songs called "Its Time" by Imagine Dragons. 

"Its time to begin

 Isn't it i get a little bit better

And then ill admit I'm just the same as i was

 Now don't you understand

 That I'm never changing who i am"

The reason this one stands out to me is because I always feel like in high school you feel pressured to be somebody different then who you really are.  That people feel the need to fit and and be popular.  Be around people who are mean to other people and you don't say anything or do anything and its always been a pet peeve of mine that people change who they really are just so that they have friends.  Not to mention the friends that they wanted so badly aren't their real friends at all.

I can gladly say I have true friends and if your not a true friend then I don't see the point in faking anything, its a waste of time.  Trust and Loyalty are a big thing for me and if I don't trust you then whats the point that's what relationships are based on.  Finding a friend who's loyal and trustworthy are hard to find but id rather have just one friend who is exactly that.  Than a hundred fake friends who make me miserable.

7 Minutes

7 Minutes of Thinking

                                                     Lauras Story

Him

Me and Him

Him and His Girlfriend

Me alone

Me and my Best Friend Rachel

Rachel making me feel better

Me and Rachel meeting guys

My stomach hurting

Laying Down

Being at Diana and Lauras house

Jumping on the Trampoline

Summer

Staying at Amandas house

Falling asleep outside on the Hammock

Sneaking out

Pushing her car down the street

Riding ontop of her car

Falling off

Scraping my legs, hands, and arms

Writers as Readers

I mostly read romance novels.  However I love the fantasy and drama and adventure just as much.  Romance novels are kind of a reminder of what I want.  I'm so picky with guys and who I hang around, its not really that I don't like people, its just I only put myself around people who I can deal with.  And as I've gotten older I've found my list of friends get shorter everyday.  There's plenty of acquaintance's but to find a true friend or boyfriend is that hard part.

My favorite book now would be Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire.  I bought the book off of Barnes and Noble and read it off my nook app on my phone and could not set it down.  I don't know if it was because it was a romance novel or the story line but I was so excited to find out what happen and when it did I was so happy and excited but also sad knowing I had just finished it.  I don't trudge through books unless its a history book or a book I have to read in class, because they usually hold no interest for me.

The first book I remember reading would be "The Prince of Egypt", I didn't read it by myself my dad helped me read it.  Ive always loved that book it took us forever to finish because i remember the book being so big and having such a huge story to tell.  The book mostly stands out because my dad helped me read it and I'm such a daddy's girl that would always be the best part of my night was him helping me read.

My favorite series would be the Twilight Saga. Because its the only series that Ive actually read all of the books and seen all the movies, own all of books and all but one of the movies because it hasn't come out yet, and went to all the movie premieres.

When I finished reading Breaking Dawn, I was extremely sad, and actually cried because I knew that it was the end of the series and there wouldn't be another book or another movie.  Then I felt like id never find a book or series Id actually enjoy reading after but now in my free time I read.  And sometimes I even cancel on my friends just so I can read a book.

I don't think how much you read determines if you would be a strong writer.  I think it all depends on whether you've got the talent or not, you could not read a single book and be an amazing writer.  Or you could read all the time and be a horrible writer.

Maya Angelou

I think talking about bad dreams gives them power, if you just dont about it then you eventually forget about it and the hold it had over you disappears.  However I also think you should write it out just incase you have another dream like that one and you can have it documented.  And its forever out of your mind and just on a piece of paper instead.

I personally only remember severly bad dreams like when my older brotehr died, I remember everything about that dream, the tears and the crying and the funeral it was one of the worst dreams ive ever experienced.  I also remember when me and my brother were stuck in "The Strangers" movie and he told me to jump out the window of the sceond floor and onto the trampoline and hed follow me but when i landed on the trampoline and turned around to see him he was gone.  The complete terror of those dreams are forever etched into my mind, and the utter loneliness i felt to not have either one of them in my life was unbearable.

I have horrible memory, the important things I barely remember, but the simple things, i remember them completely like sitting at the table during dinner time and passing food around, or when my dad and my godfather helped me clean up my room, or stomping up the stairs because i was mad at my dad.  Walking home with my brother everyday from school.  I have total recall of random things, things that werent big events in my life but I hold onto them for some reason.

When im trying to occupy my small mind, listening to music would be my first choice.  Running on the treadmill would be my second.  Or taking a shower is a great distractor.

Writing is very hardwork.  I write easiest from whats coming from my mind when im thinking about something, but to write a book or an essay it takes me forever to actually come up with full blown essays.  Sometimes im never fully capable to put whats inside my head on a piece a paper.

I think as you get older you that part of your brain that was so excepting to learn stops working as hard to take in new imformation.  Kind of like a cup half empty half full.  Its not necessarily done forever, but takes more to except new information.  As you get older eventually your cup will get more full but never completely full. You experience new things everyday so your always learning something.

Dream Threads

You don't find answers, you find pieces to the puzzle.  Little tiny pieces that push you towards the truth.  You don't want to believe it because you love him and he loves you.  He says it all the time and how sorry he is for what he did and that its the last time. But it never really stops it repeats itself and you just don't do anything because he tells you how its your fault.  That your the reason he gets the way he does.  But he loves you and that should be enough.  Even when he isolates you from your friends and family making it so that he is the only one in your life, and without him your life would be pointless.  Even when you get a tickle in the back of your head you still stay and ignore it.  And when he doesn't change, when everything stays the same, the tickle becomes an itch you cant scratch until finally it turns into a slap in the face.  And you realize that he is dark and absorbs light, so you can never get a good look until your to close.

Dreaming

I dont remember dreaming. I have before but lately I have no idea what my dreams are about. Were they scary or funny, if it was in a different world or underwater.  Did I fall in love or not at all.

If I could chose my dreams I make them about something more than falling in love or being underwater. Id want to dream about changing the world, inventing something, or just helping people.

If I could chose my dreams Id chose to make them about traveling and seeing new things, new people experiencing new things.

Also Id want to dream about finding a husband, soul mate, bestfriend, I want to dream about someone who wants me through it all. Who can be tough when they need to be tough, or soft when they need to be soft. And happy kids and being completely and irrevocably happy.

I want to dream about all the things that I want in life.

I am

I am…

Seventeen, a senior in high school, born and raised in Springfield Missouri, with a dream to be a surgeon and to help people.

A sister to 4 siblings; 2 older brothers, 1 younger sister, and 1 younger brother, fortunate to have 2 body guards, a shadow, and a follower.

A daughter, unfortunately still thought of as the baby girl, a carbon copy of my mother, a fathers who is still trying to understand.

An attitude that gets me in more trouble than it should, not a morning person.

Sonic Carhop, where I have met people who just make me laugh so hard I cry at work and have showed me so much, like a paycheck every other week.

I am…

Only TruMoo Chocolate Milk, and sweet tea, roman noodles made only by my brothers and honey buns.

Sleeping in whenever I can and when I’m not suppose to.

Staying up late talking on the phone with my friends or texting that one boy who makes my heart skip a beat.

Lying outside on my back porch with a blanket and a best friend staring at the night sky and contemplating life or talking about that hottie from ihop.

Blasting my music and in my room and dancing off beat or singing in the shower or car completely off key.

Watching the matrix trilogy with my dad and brothers just to have them in my presence.

Constantly making my brother laugh with my goofiness or him me, and my dad shaking his head saying that only his kids would say stupid stuff like us.

Watching scary movies with my hands over my eyes, peaking through a whole between my fingers because it makes me feel better.

Crying at sappy love stories or just crying at a really good movie and then getting made fun of.

I am…

Dark brown eyes and dark brown hair like my father.

Short, but not small, not skinny and not fat, fun size, and comfortable.

Vans, Sperry’s, Boots or Sandals, Jeggings, Jeans, Leggings and Sweat pants, messy bun and no makeup.

  

So close to 18 I can taste it in the air, going to graduate and travel the world, meet new people and experience news things.

Not a little girl with little girl problems anymore.

Figuring out I am, who I want to be, and how to be that person.