Final Reflection

1.  I have written several different pieces and for the first part of this class it seemed as if we we're talking about our feelings but then it grew and I learned how to express myself more.  Also I learned that I do have a thing for writing, I like writing and if I could go further I would.

2. I have red a book recently called "Bound to You", by Marie Coulson.  Its more of an adult novel, its set for College Students i feel, and it just blew me away.  I absolutely hate the "Love Triangle Story", and I didnt know it would  be that way but I absolutely loved this book.  Kat has always amazed me at how deep she just is when she writes.  Shes always in depth and it just blows me away.

3.  I came up with the name for my blog because life is a journing to figure out who you are, and I have yet to set foot on that journey, Im so indecisive my moods change from left to right when the wind blows.  I dont konw what I want in life, who I am and im just a very complex person.  My dads says im a very difficult person, like a puzzle or a rubix cube, and I just laugh at him because I know hes right.

4.  If I continue to journal, I will journal about my daily life, my feelings, stuff I know that Id love to get out and get out of my head or my heart.  I like journaling because I feel like its a form of therapy, one that doesnt include a psychairst.  Its like tricking you into talking about what you feel.  And once its out its gone and you can go back to it and wonder why you were so angry or sad over the little things.

5. My favorite entry thats notable to me is my Creative Piece because it, in my opinion, is a dream that I once had.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.  I knew it was time to leave this life.  But i wasn't ready, not yet. I had one more thing to do, he had to know.  Someway I had to find him and tell him.  Somehow, id tell him even though i was nothing more than a think shimmer in the air.  But how would I find him in this endless black pit of nothing.  Tears touched my face.  For I only felt sadness that I would never see him again.  He was the moon in my sky.  The necklace hanging from my neck a reminder of the sweet memories.  A dark cloud hung over me, reminding me of the last words I said to him.  Those awful words we screamed at each other.  It wasn't fair, it was so stupid, I cant even remember the words that we said.  The memory blurred as his beautiful face came into view right next to me.  His hair ruffled from the countless times he ran his fingers through it out of frustration.  His chiseled face with a stubble of hair just the way I loved.  His nose which was cocked a little to the left from his adolescent years and finally his eyes.  Eyes I could get lost in for days.  Stormy gray pools sucking you in with green flecks at the end, making my heart stop every time he gazed at me.  However this time was different, a light lit up his beautiful face, masked in horror as a loud honk screamed from the right of me getting louder and louder. It looked as if saying goodbye but no words were coming out. Just his mouth moving.



Then everything came back in a rush, the screech of tires then darkness.

My head was pounding, I was upside down.  My eye lids felt like 2 ton boulders were weighing me down.  What was that god awful ringing in my ears? 

Then someone was carrying me, they were asking me my name, if i was hurt, if i knew what today was, but speaking was to hard so I just closed my eyes. When they set me down on a hard board, my eyes flew open as did my mouth and the ear bleeding scream of pain.  Finally when I was sedated I whispered where he was.  The look on there faces said it all and I let sleep consume my being.

I felt like I was being pulled by an unknown force.  There was no fighting it but i tried with everything I had when fighting became to hard I gave in as it took me forward.  Where was it taking me?  I knew this road led to somewhere familiar but I was having a hard time remembering, until finally the hospital came into view. 

The pull became stronger like when all of a sudden I was staring down at my broken, and bruised body with a oxygen mask on my face.  Needles in my hands and arms and..HE WAS HERE! HE'S WITH ME! HOLDING MY HAND! But how was I watching this?  My hand started tingling slowly working through my body.

It started getting dark again, I needed to do this now. I reached for him as I was getting ready to finally tell him.  I felt pressure on my hand, the same one hes holding as he said "...you must go on, I cant go on, I love you, I'm so sorry." 

And that's when darkness consumed me...

There was a bright light, as I opened my eyes.  Slowly my eyes adjusted I was laying down...laying down on something soft yet stiff.  Something was covering my mouth, as I reached to remove it, there was a resistance, I looked to where my hand was.  Somebody was holding onto it.  Slowly, so slowly i was sure Id die, The person holding my hand lifted their chestnut haired head, until finally I met the eyes that claimed my body, heart, and soul.

 

6. My favorite passage out of one of my pieces of writings would be "  Finding a friend who's loyal and trustworthy are hard to find but id rather have just one friend who is exactly that.  Than a hundred fake friends who make me miserable."  Its my favorite because I feel like it really describes me a little and who I am as a person.

 

7. When I write i feel a certain release from my heart like Im chipping away at my self. Breaking down barriers and getting to know who I am.

 

8.  I got to understand so many people more in depth and go to know people.  People who are different and look different and we have alot in common and theyve also opened my eyes up to seeing things in diffferent perspectives.

Keeping It Real

2. What are three tips you would give parents of teenagers?

The three tips I would give parents about teenagers would be that; One,were not always plotting something dangerous. Sometimes we seriously just want to give you a nice cold water while your mowing the lawn because I can only imagine how hot it is to have to do that during the summer. Two, just because we have friends that do certain stuff, doenst me were interested into doing that stuff.  Three, dont judge us for who we are when we finally let you see who we are in the inside, were judged cruelly and harshly at school, eveyday or whether we are excepted or not and we dont need to feel like that at home, love us regardless, and just listen because were so confused and its hard to ask question when you make us feel dumb.

7.  Can you know in three days if you love somone?

My personal opinion would be know, but thats just me.  Ive never been inlove and being inlove at this age is silly.  Were so yount and theres so much world to see and weve only seen so little.  You dont know who your gonna be 10 years from now.  You might change and you might not.  But Ive changed just in this one year, I doubt Ill be the same person 10 years from now.

9.  What makes someone a "hottie" to you?

A hottie to me would be someone who I just click with.  Someone who can raise butterflys in my stomach and goosebumps on my arms.  A guy who just can make me laugh all the time. But not a push over, arguing is healthy.  I want someone taller than me which isnt that hard considering im 5'3 and 3/4.  With dark hair, and eyes I can just get lost into.  Someone I can talk with for hours and someone I can just sit down with and watch a movie in complete silence.  I want a bestfriend and a love.

21.  Does your family do huge gatherings with intersting sleeping arrangements and lots of activities like Dan's?

My family in South Carolina, they are always having Sunday Dinners and BBQ's out of knowhere and its such as blast to be apart of that, they are so close and I love being around them.  My family here is amazing as well but I dont have anyone my age or close except my brothers and cousins but they've all kind of "grown up" so its just not the same as in South Carolina where everyone is younger than me or the same age.

22.  Are teenagers pretty hard on their parents?

I think teenagers are hard on their parents because; One, we try to test the boundries as much as possible. Two because we're becoming older and we're become young adults, and being told what to do is just becoming more and more annoying.

Ice Covered Plants

The ice covered plants make me feel winter coming.

Cold.

Detached.

Bitter.

But Beautiful.

Man breaking apart the Graffiti Covered Berlin Wall

This makes me feel bad, kind of like a dangerous rebel, causing mischief.

Movie Time

• Tell us about your favorite movie and why you like it.

I dont have a favorite movies, I just have movies that are my favorites, they very from all kinds.  Movies that can get my heart pumping or make me sympathize with the characters or just pull me in, are the ones I truly enjoy and will watch over and over again.

• Tell us about the kinds of movies you don't care for usually.

I dont usually care for movies that dont make me care. No offense to the movies but the movie Extremely Loud and Icredibly Close is just to close for comfort and I dont like the movies that talk about tragedies such as that movie. 

• Tell us about how often and where you usually watch movies.

I love watching movies at home in the living room, or just at a movie theater. 

• Tell us about what you need for movie viewing (environment, food, company, etc.)

To watch a movie all I need is a comfy seat where I can put my legs under me and an arm rest to lean against.

• Tell us about what the survey says about you.

YOU ARE 83% EXTRAVERTED.

You are extraverted, outgoing, active and high-spirited. You prefer to be around people most of the time.

YOU ARE 67% AGREEABLE. You are generally warm, trusting, and agreeable, but you can sometimes be stubborn and competitive.

YOU ARE 50% CONSCIENTIOUS. You are dependable and moderately well-organised. You generally have clear goals and are able to set goals aside.

YOU ARE 58% EMOTIONALLY STABLE. You are generally calm and able to deal with stress, but you sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness.

YOU ARE 83% OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES. You are practical but willing to consider new ways of doing things. You try to seek a balance between the old and the new.

• If my life story was made into a movie...

If my life story was made into a movie, I wouldnt want to watch it.  Because I dont want to relive certains things and somethings are just better left burried.

This Is

This is the puppy ive always wanted,

So adorable and cute,

Always loving and caring,

Under your feet

Nibling on your toes.

Never leaving your side

and whining when your gone.

Window Poem

I see Kiki and Jordan
Jacee, and DJ
Grandma and Papa,
Aunt Terri and Uncle Bay.

I see friends and family
food and drinks,
dogs stealing scraps,
those little minx.

I see love and laughter,
fun and joy
So many people happy to see each other
If they only knew there was more.

Theres a camera that watches the front of the house,
So Ill have to sneak around,
Dodging from being seen,
Geez I feel like a mouse.

As I crawl threw the window,
I see a picture on the wall,
I remember taking that picture,
We were at the mall.

I hear Grandma call for dinner,
And then I hear papa began to pray,
It swells my heart to know,
They still do this every Sunday.

As I come walk into the dining room,
All of their heads are bowed,
Your never suppose to interrupt,
So I dont make a sound.

When Papas done praying,
Everyone opens there eyes,
Thats when they notice,
A well planned surprise.

I ingulfed in hugs repeatedly,
I feel so much love,
This family Ive only known for a year,
Theyve become my home.

Inspirtaional Image #10

I hear a rapping on my window, it wakes me out of my sleep. Scared out of my mind I slowly back away to my door until I hear my name. The voice its me, and as I open the window I see the most beautiful face smiling up at me beckoning me down. I dont question it I just know that id follow him to the end of the earth.  As I climb out and he helps me down, he pulls me against him as I slide against his body.  Holding me so close that I feel the heat of his breath brush against my face he looks at my lips and it seems as hes going to kiss me, but he doesnt.  Instead he steps back and takes my hand and pulls me behind him to his truck.  He doenst say anything as he opens the door for me and helps me in and shuts the door, he walks around and gets in his seat and just looks at me.  I can only stare into the pools of his eyes. Desire and Love etched into them. It swells my heart and makes me stomach jump and when he smiles, I see stars. He suddenly looks away and starts the car and starts driving.  I see familiar roads until he makes a turn onto a dirt road.  I look at him as my hand reaches for the handles.  As were being thrown around because of the uneven ground, hes smiling like the kid on christmas, as I start to laugh.  When the road smoothens out he starts going up this hill, that seems to go on forever, until finally it ends at a cliff and he stops the car.

He gets out and comes around to open the door and pulls me to the front of the car stands behind me, wraps his arms around my middle, points to the horizon and tells me to watch. I try to do as he says, but its hard to focus with him so close to me, his breath tickling my ear, his body against mine, his arms wrapped around me and as I turn my head hes staring down at me with so much love and warmth in those beautiful eyes, I say the first thing I can think of but before I can speak he puts a finger to his mouth and tells me to just watch.

So I turn my head back toward the horizon and watch. I dont know how much time goes by before the tiniest hint of blue starts to come, then orange/red, then hues of pink, when finally the sun starts to rise and everything comes into view.

He kisses the top of my head and I can feel the smile in his lips. "This," he says "this is how I want to spend forever."